Time of Reflection

It is literally the last day of 2013.  While I look forward to what 2014 has in store for myself and my family, I will miss 2013. Sure, the year had it’s moments of despair and heartache, but it was mostly a year filled with joy.  It started with a pregnancy at the ripe old age of 39.  It was a pretty uneventful pregnancy, ALMOST easy for someone of my advanced age :).  Then there was the move back to Virginia Beach from Suffolk in April.  Sure, we moved into a much smaller house, but it brought me back to my family and friends.  It’s a tight fit at the homestead with 3 humans and 3 dogs, but I wouldn’t change a thing.  Ok, well that’s a lie, I would change the square footage.  Next, there was the birth of my lovey July 21st, just 2 days before my 40th birthday.  Of course there were A LOT of tears that day….and many days that followed.   As soon as they placed him on my chest I knew he had Down Syndrome.  I still struggle with his diagnosis and what I deem to be the unfairness of HIS situation.  I still ponder the “why him?”.  Would I change it about him if I could?  I’d be lying if I said no.  Having said that though, I love that boy with all of my being.  He is going to teach me so much, he is going to show me the good in the world, to be more patient, to not sweat the small stuff (let’s be honest, those last 2 are going to take a while.  I’d like to say those will be my 2014 resolutions, but it’s going to take more than a year to reach that point :)), and what it means to love unconditionally.  I bet that boy won’t have a mean bone in his body!  Next came Greyson’s open heart surgery November 15th.  We were optimistic that he wouldn’t require the surgery, but his heart didn’t share in our optimism.   Seeing my infant unconscious and connected to many wires and tubes was heartbreaking, but I knew it was all for the greater good.  He showed us how strong and resilient he was right away.  He spent just 4 days in the hospital post surgery.  That kid showed NO signs of pain.  I dubbed him Superman.  I’m still looking for his cape.  He already has the “S” on his chest, it just looks strangely like a scar.  🙂  Do I get sad when I see that approximate 4 inch scar on his chest?  Sure, but I just tell myself that the reason behind that scar is what is going to give him the energy, stamina, and ability to go far in life, to be everything he was meant to be.  Ahhh 2013, you were filled with mostly highs, just a few lows.  All in all, you were a pretty great year.   2014, I expect nothing less from you!   

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