If I Could Go Back To The Day

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If I could go back to the day 18 months ago when I received what I deemed the most devastating news ever, that my newborn son had Down syndrome, I would say “girl, you shed an extreme amount of unhappy tears on the day that was supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life and you will regret doing so, will actually feel guilty doing so.”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “just wait, you are going to experience a need to protect like you’ve never felt before.  You will fully understand what the term “mama bear” means.”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “just wait, Greyson will ALWAYS be able to turn your frown upside down.”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “Greyson is going to teach you patience, empathy, and compassion, the likes you didn’t know you possessed.”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “be warned, you are going to realize your special needs son is special, but not because he has an extra chromosome!”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “don’t stress about what his future holds, cherish his preciousness NOW.”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “don’t read the crap on the internet about Down syndrome and what “they” say will happen.  I assure you future self, Greyson is going to amaze you with his ABILITY!  You are going to use the term “quick study” when referring to your little man.”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “i know you are going to worry about what strangers whisper/say about your son, but you will become oblivious to those around you.  You won’t look for the looks, the stares. Actually what you will see are strangers who are smitten with your blonde hair, blue eyed baby boy!”  If I could go back to the day, I would tell myself “just wait, you are going to be so proud of your son and excited when he reaches each milestone.  You are going to become his biggest cheerleader, proudly touting each and every accomplishment.”  If I could go back to the day I got Greyson’s diagnosis I would simply say “you, with the love and support of your family and friends, got this!  You are going to be fine.  More importantly, HE is going to be fine, …..actually better than fine!”

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About greysonandgavinsma

hi. I am the mother of 3 sons, nathan, who is 21 years old, greyson, who is two years old, and gavin, who just turned one. we had a surprise diagnosis of down syndrome at birth with my two year old. this blog is our journey as we navigate the unknown. this blog is like my diary, where I will share my feelings and will keep it as "real" as possible, not holding back, saying exactly what I feel when I feel it. I am hoping my blog will help other parents of special needs children through this journey that we are on.....but it's mostly to help me deal with my emotions, at least right now.

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