Ok, I’m going to say it…..even after a friend suggested I not. I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile. To say it out loud would surely offend some, upset others so I’ve kept quiet. Well I’m going to keep it real folks. I was having lunch with another special needs mom a few weeks ago. We were talking about our children with special needs and she said “I wouldn’t change them for the world.” I responded with “I would.” She looked stunned, her mouth actually dropped open and said “You would?!” I said “Hell yeah, I would.” She said ‘You’re the first person to ever say that.” She then said “I would too.” I hear people say all the time about their child with special needs, specifically Down syndrome, “I wouldn’t change him for the world”or “I wouldn’t change anything about him”. Maybe these parents actually mean it, maybe they believe they were given the child they were meant to have, extra chromosome and all, the whole God doesn’t make mistakes thing. I promise you folks, you will never hear me make that statement because if I could change it, I damn sure would. If I could have Greyson’s extra chromosome surgically removed, we’d have already done so. Why would I want my son to endure the things he is going to endure all his life, things like difficulty communicating, taking longer to learn things, possibly unable to drive, possibly unable to reproduce, may or may not be able to live independently? Who wants that for their child?! I can hear people now, “Oh, but individuals with Down syndrome have come a long way. Did you hear about the guy going to college or the guy who started his own crazy sock business?” You’re right, individuals with Down syndrome have come a long way, but people, when these stories make the news, that means it’s rare, uncommon. To be clear, I love Greyson with all of my being. As a matter of fact, although I love all my boys equally, Greyson has a very special place in my heart. With or without the extra chromosome, my love for my son would remain the same, have no doubt. I’m just honest enough to admit that his life, our lives would be a lot easier without that extra chromosome, so yeah, there is ONE thing I would change about my son. My phrase would be “I would change one thing about him for the world”, because if I could, I would.



About greysonandgavinsma

hi. I am the mother of 3 sons, nathan, who is 21 years old, greyson, who is two years old, and gavin, who just turned one. we had a surprise diagnosis of down syndrome at birth with my two year old. this blog is our journey as we navigate the unknown. this blog is like my diary, where I will share my feelings and will keep it as "real" as possible, not holding back, saying exactly what I feel when I feel it. I am hoping my blog will help other parents of special needs children through this journey that we are on.....but it's mostly to help me deal with my emotions, at least right now.

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